I, on the other hand, cannot.

I'm writing this post for me: I have been keeping record of all the red tape shit I go through, esp. while traveling. Most of this won't make sense to anyone including me, and it is not even an interesting read. But I do have friends on here that like to follow my adventures in Absurdia, so I'm keeping this post public. Feel free to skip on to the next thing you were going to do on the interweb.




On my way from NYC to Istanbul, I had a minor scare: the woman at the counter checking me in looked at my passport, saw that I had no British Visa and that my US visa had expired and that I travel with only an INS-issued document that will let me into the country. She wondered for a second if there would be a problem with my connecting flight in London. She checked with a superior, a process that took long enough to make me anxious, and she came back what seemed like hours later, with good news: since it hasn't yet been six months since the expiration of my US visa, which is when I applied for a travel document instead of renewing my visa (a much more painful procedure), I would be allowed into London Heathrow. None of this BS about the six-month window made sense to me, but since I got the answer I wanted, I didn't care. Absurdity only annoys me when it threatens my ability to travel.



Yesterday, in a panic, I finally thought to check when my US visa had expired. Still within the 6-month window? Yes. Whew. I didn't know what I would have done if it had been more than six months.

Today, the first blow came when I asked about how much an upgrade would cost. With my bad back, the thought of having to sit for so long on two different flights was depressing, and I thought I should probably do what is so un-me while I travel: pay more to be more comfortable. Apparently, because I bought my ticket online through some internet page, I don't get to upgrade. Fine. I had booked aisle seats; I'd just have to make sure I get up and stretch more frequently than I would like.

Then, the woman took too long looking through my passport. She went to a superior. They began looking through paperwork. When they came back, I wasn't worried: I told them about the whole 6-month thing. No go. For some reason, on the way back to the US, the same thing doesn't apply. London won't let me in.

—Even for a connecting flight, even if I never leave the airport?
—Even then.
—But I have a travel document&183;
—The problem is not with your entry into the US. You just can't go through London without a transit visa or a US visa.
—But I don't need a US visa. I am OK to get back into the US, so what does London want from me? What do I do now?
—You need to go to the British Embassy and get a transit visa.
—Um, today? Oof.


All I have to say is thank goodness for free wireless at the airport. I checked at the ticket counter first to see if Turkish Airlines and the Star Alliance had any direct flights to NYC. Yes. For about $3000 one way. No thanks. I got online and began looking while frantically instant messaging with my parents. Right when I was about to resign myself to paying a fortune to fly direct to NY, we came up with the idea of flying to just anywhere in the US. Turned out I could buy a ticket to Chicago for about $1400. In the meantime, I was having mom check with THY over the phone to see if she would find anything cheaper than what I was having online. Right as I was about to commit to the Chicago ticket, mom found a ticket to NYC that wasn't showing up on the compooper of the woman at the airport's ticket counter. She found a seat that went from costing $2600 to $1500 within a matter of minutes, made the reservation, gave me the confirmation number, and I bought the ticket from the ticket counter at the airport. This shit has never made sense to me. What I understand is it's all about timing and persistence while hunting.

So. $1500 later, I have a new ticket to NYC for tomorrow.



As mom pointed out, this is partially my shithead lawyer's fault. She had told me that I didn't need to go through the trouble of renewing my work visa in the US since I now have a work permit card and a travel document and I could travel abroad and get back into the US no problem. Technically, she was right. I can get back into the US. I just can't go through anywhere else to get home.


I'm getting so tired of this shit. This is why I have a hard time with Americans who have the privilege of traveling abroad so easily yet don't, especially those for whom money is not a big obstacle. I mean, my friends who visited me this summer just showed up in Turkey with their passports and that was it. I can't imagine what that would feel like—to see a good fare online and just buy the ticket without worrying about whether or not I would be able to get a visa to that country, to whom I would have to sell my soul to get the paperwork done quickly... I understand now that some people are just not into traveling. They look at it as a choice you make to put yourself into uncomfortable situations in places where you know no one, where you do not speak the language or understand the culture. So I think I understand a little bit more now why some of my friends are not into traveling. It makes sense. If you like being comfortable, traveling abroad somewhere is probably not going to make you happy. Me, I like being uncomfortable...while traveling, that is, not before traveling. And I'm jealous of people who never have to go through the patience testing processes that certainly take the joy out of traveling, at least for a while.


Well.

As we say in Turkish, and as my dad reminded me, there is a favor in everything—as in, everything happens for a good reason. I don't know what the reason was. Maybe it's not for me to know. But with each such experience, I'm getting less and less satisfied with this explanation.


I want a green card already, dammit.